Sunday, January 30, 2011

On Taking Responsibility




In three more months we’ll see hundreds of thousands graduating from the universities around the country.  As usual, we’ll also see hundreds of thousands pounding the pavements looking for jobs.  For many, it’ll also be time to blame their parents for “forcing” them to take a course not of their personal choice, especially if they’re going to have difficulty finding jobs they like.

Well, going to the university is not a simple process of pre-selecting the job you’ll love.  It’s more of a process of training to enable you to do something well, not necessarily in an area you’d love to work in.  Loving the job you land after you graduate from the university is a different matter altogether.  Still, you really have no business blaming your parents if you fail to land a well-paying job, or something you enjoy doing.  Too, a well-paying job for the mal-trained is not always enjoyable, and an enjoyable job rarely requires the training and expertise you may have learned from the university.

JK Rowling, the famed author of the Harry Potter series, reminded her audience when she was graduation speaker at Harvard University in June 2008, as follows: “There’s an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you to the wrong direction.”  What she wanted the graduating class at Harvard to understand was that those graduating would proceed to join the world in making decisions for others, and that they should take responsibility for those decisions.

Indeed, it’s not completely incorrect to say that young graduates joining the work force in this country, no matter how idealistic they might be, will not contribute to wrong decisions made by our policy- and decision-makers perhaps making the lives of most Filipinos that much more difficult to bear.  In time those who’ll help make wrong decisions will eventually become the corrupt officials we love to hate.

What am I saying?  Well, for the young graduates, the moment you make your own choices, such as in the case of choosing a job, you make your own decisions, and the moment you make your own decisions you must take responsibility for the ultimate effect of those decisions.  It’s not only decisions you make after graduation that you should take responsibility for but all decisions you made on your own earlier on.  More importantly, what becomes of you when you’ve turned professional is something you can’t blame on your parents, either.  Your life is your full responsibility.  No one can live your life for you.   You must live it yourself.

All of us have and are making significant decisions for ourselves, but many, if not all these decisions, invariably affect others in many ways as well.  So make decisions and accept the responsibility for those decisions like men and women of honor.

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Increasingly, it’s becoming difficult for many, including myself, to practice the value many of us were raised  in times past – trust and belief in others as you trust and believe in yourself, we were always reminded by our parents before.  Today, we observe that such standard has eroded significantly.  The other day, Jegs called me while I was in the office.  She happened to hasve stayed home to study her courses this semester instead of going to the library.

When I left home for office earlier that day, I happened to have just left our gate open.  I thought that was all right since Jegs was home and King, my son, was still home, too.  Then about mid-morning, Jegs called me up and asked me if I had arranged to buy bananas from someone who just entered our gate and introduced himself to her as the cousin of the person whom we have been contracting to do some gardening during weekends.  The man, Jegs said, claimed that I have always ordered bananas from him.  The man sounded like he was sincere, Jegs said, when he informed her that, “lagi kasi bumibili sa akin si sir, e.”  Jegs excused herself and called me through our landline.  Good thing she had the presence of mind to check with me.

I told Jegs I have ordered bananas from no one, and I didn’t know that Danny, our gardener, had a cousin.  When Jegs informed the guy that I didn’t like to buy bananas, the guy simply responded, “Oh, so you asked him?” and left.  The man was a total stranger, but he was trying to talk himself into the trust framework of Jegs.

Thing is, this man may just be casing our house.  Who knows, he might be a member of those notorious “akyat-bahay” gangs who rob houses when owners are not home.  In the past, I never thought ill of people, but these days one can’t be too suspicious.

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